1. Boundaries Around Interacting with Relatives
Take time to gently discuss how you and your partner can navigate family interactions during the holidays. Setting expectations ahead of time can help you feel supported.
- Example 1: “I’d love to spend time with your family, but I would love to leave by 8 PM? That way, we also get some quiet time together.”
- Example 2: “I sometimes feel a little uncomfortable when personal topics like our relationship come up. Could we agree to change the subject if it does?”
- Example 3: “It would mean a lot to me if we could stay close at family events this year. It helps me feel more at ease.”
2. Financial Boundaries
Holiday spending can add up quickly, so it’s important to have a kind and understanding conversation about finances. A shared plan can reduce stress for both of you.
- Example 1: “I will feel more comfortable if we keep gifts to under $50 this year and focus on meaningful gestures instead?”
- Example 2: “Instead of buying gifts for everyone in the family, what do you think about suggesting a Secret Santa?”
- Example 3: “I feel like traveling to see everyone this year might stretch our budget too much. Could we prioritize one trip and plan for others later?”
3. Boundaries Around Socializing And Quality Time Together
Holidays can be overwhelming with social gatherings. Acknowledge your capacity and suggest spending intentional time together to reconnect.
- Example 1: “I have a certain capacity for social events, and I’d love to balance it with some quiet time together. Would you like to plan a couple of evenings just for us this season?”
- Example 2: “I’m feeling a bit stretched with all the commitments. Could we skip one gathering and have a cozy night in instead?”
- Example 3: “I feel like this week is packed, but how about we reserve Friday night for just us? We could cook something simple and unwind together.”
4. Personal Boundaries Around Social and Emotional Needs
Respect each other’s unique needs during this busy season.
- Example 1: “I know you love hosting, but I’ll need some alone time after the party. Can we plan for a quiet morning the next day?”
- Example 2: “If I feel like stepping outside for a breather during the family dinner, I’d appreciate you being okay with that. It helps me recharge.”
- Example 3: “I enjoy spending time with your friends, but I might need to leave early if I’m feeling drained. Is it okay if you stay while I head home?”
Setting boundaries with your partner during the holidays isn’t about keeping distance—it’s about fostering a healthier, more connected relationship. By discussing expectations, honoring each other’s needs, and creating shared traditions, you can navigate the season with joy and love.
